7 Signs You Need an Executive Coach (Not a Mentor)

Mentors are invaluable. They share hard-won wisdom, open doors, and help you avoid mistakes they've already made. Every leader should have mentors they look up to in their corner.

But mentorship has limits. When you need to fundamentally shift how you lead, think, or show up — when the challenge is about you rather than your industry or career path — a mentor's advice often isn't enough.

That's where executive coaching comes in. Unlike mentoring, coaching isn't about receiving answers. It's about developing the capacity to find your own.

Here are seven signs that coaching, not mentorship, is what you actually need.

1. You Know What to Do, But You're Not Doing It

You've read the books. You've heard the advice. You intellectually understand what effective leadership looks like. And yet, you're not consistently showing up that way.

Maybe you know you should delegate more but keep pulling work back. Perhaps you understand the importance of difficult conversations but avoid them. Or you recognise you're burning out but can't seem to change the patterns driving it.

Why mentors can't fix this: A mentor might tell you again that you need to delegate. But you already know that. The problem isn't information — it's the gap between knowing and doing.

What coaching offers: A coach helps you understand why you're stuck and works with you to build new patterns. They address the beliefs, fears, and habits that keep you repeating behaviours that don't serve you.

2. You're Facing a Challenge No One in Your Network Has Navigated

Your mentor built a successful career in traditional corporate structures. You're a first-time founder dealing with investor dynamics they've never experienced. Or perhaps you're an individual contributor or specialist stepping into leadership, and no one in your circle has made that exact transition.

Mentors share their experience. When your situation falls outside that experience, their advice, however well-intentioned, may not apply.

Why mentors can't fix this: They can only draw from what they've lived. Novel challenges require novel thinking, not recycled solutions.

What coaching offers: Coaches don't need to have experienced your exact situation. They're trained to help you think through complex, ambiguous challenges and develop solutions that fit your unique context. It’s an invaluable headspace that we rarely have in life.

3. You Need Confidentiality That Mentorship Can't Provide

There are things you can't tell your mentor.

Perhaps they're connected to your board, your investors, or your industry in ways that make full honesty risky. Maybe the challenge involves someone they know and respect. Or the vulnerability required feels too exposing with someone who's also a professional contact.

Why mentors can't fix this: The relationship often has multiple dimensions — professional reputation, mutual connections, potential future opportunities — that limit what you can safely share.

What coaching offers: The coaching relationship exists solely to serve you. It’s a completely non-judgemental space. Professional coaches maintain strict confidentiality. You can be completely honest without worrying about professional consequences.

4. You're at an Inflection Point That Requires Deep Reflection

You've reached a level of success that raises fundamental questions: Is this what I actually want? What matters to me beyond achievement? Who am I outside of this role?

These aren't questions with quick answers. They require sustained, structured reflection with someone skilled at facilitating that kind of exploration. And only you hold the keys to the answer.

Why mentors can't fix this: Mentorship conversations are typically less frequent and less structured. Most mentors aren't trained to facilitate deep identity-level exploration. And the inherent dynamic, experienced person advising less experienced person, can make existential questioning feel inappropriate.

What coaching offers: Coaches are trained in powerful questioning and reflective techniques. The regular cadence of sessions creates space for sustained exploration. And the relationship is explicitly designed for this kind of work.

5. Your Challenge Is Relational or Emotional, Not Technical

The issue isn't that you don't know how to build a financial model or structure a team. It's that you struggle with conflict, feel like an imposter despite your success, or can't seem to build trust with your co-founder.

These are emotional intelligence challenges. They're about how you relate to yourself and others, not what you know.

Why mentors can't fix this: Unless your mentor has specific training in interpersonal dynamics, they're likely to offer the same advice that hasn't worked: "Just be more confident" or "You need to have that conversation."

What coaching offers: Skilled coaches understand the emotional and relational dimensions of leadership. They help you develop new ways of being, not just new things to do.

6. You Want Accountability, Not Just Advice

You leave conversations with your mentor inspired and full of intentions. Two weeks later, nothing has changed. The insights that felt so clear have faded, and old patterns have reasserted themselves.

Why mentors can't fix this: Mentorship isn't designed for accountability. Meeting occasionally for advice doesn't create the structure needed for sustained behaviour change.

What coaching offers: Coaching engagements include built-in accountability. You set commitments, you report on progress, and you explore what gets in the way when you don't follow through. This structure dramatically increases the likelihood that insight translates into action.

7. You're Successful but Not Satisfied

From the outside, everything looks great. The title, the compensation, the respect. But internally, something is off. You're achieving without fulfilment, winning without joy.

This is one of the loneliest places in leadership. Complaining feels ungrateful. But pretending everything is fine isn't working either.

Why mentors can't fix this: Your mentor probably worked hard to achieve what you've achieved. Expressing dissatisfaction with that success can feel awkward — like rejecting the path they've validated with their own life.

What coaching offers: Coaches aren't invested in you staying on any particular path. They're invested in you finding one that genuinely works for you — even if that means questioning everything you've built.

The Bottom Line

Mentors help you navigate the game. Coaches help you question whether you're playing the right game — and develop the capacity to play whatever game you choose at the highest level.

If your challenges are primarily about gaining knowledge, accessing networks, or understanding how an industry works, a mentor might be exactly what you need.

But if you're facing identity questions, relational challenges, behavioural patterns you can't break, or the gap between knowing and doing — coaching is likely the better investment.

Ready to Explore?

If several of these signs resonated, it might be time to consider whether executive coaching could accelerate your growth.

A discovery call is a chance to explore what you're working through and whether coaching is the right fit. There's no obligation — just a conversation to gain clarity.

Book a discovery call to start the conversation.

Maria Perlman is an executive coach working with founders, senior leaders, and technical experts at pivotal moments in their careers.